Well, it’s 2008. I haven’t allowed a cig, a drink or anything remotely naughty to pass my lips for about three days now. I feel pure. And slightly bored.

The Nell McAndrew vid is glaring at me reproachfully from the coffee table. I’m going to give it a try this weekend. By all accounts it involves a lot of jumping around, which is going to right piss off the neighbours downstairs, but quite frankly, they’ve had it coming to them for months now. It might teach them to be a little more thoughtful next time they invite half the pub back to theirs until 6am/slam the doors/do monkey shagging at top volume.

Now, on to my first burning question of the new year. Concerned as I am with health issues and global politics, I was perusing the BBC site for a bit of mind-fodder and came across this little gem of a story.

Answer me this, blog bunnies. How will the US of A maintain its status as the most powerful nation in the whole wide world, when they’re all such fat fucks?

Discuss.