So, some news reports suggest that Cheryl Cole may well be taking back errant husband, Ashley.

On a personal level I couldn’t give a shit. I don’t spend a great deal of time fretting about the dirty washing of others (except when the neighbours start throwing stuff at each other - then I’m glued to a glass against the wall). But in the grand scheme of things, when adultery threatens a marriage there are definitely a variety of options to choose from, each boasting equally persuasive arguments.

We always hear old people banging on about how young people don’t stick at marriages these days. It’s all too easy to get your solicitor on speed dial after therapy fails to tell you why he can’t fuck you right, why the children divorced you both before you got to divorce each other, why she got fat, why he spends all his time in the shed, ad infinitum.

By the same token, no one is going to expect you to stay with a man who after 20 years of marriage, comes screaming out of the closet, equipped with feather boa and 19-year old boyfriend.

I think in this instance, the old fashioned adage of sticking together is perhaps somewhat out-moded.

However (and it is a BIG however), when His Nibs falls accidentally-on-purpose on top of the nearest fame-hungry harlot, it’s an entirely different kettle of fish.

Do you stand by your man and honour your wedding vows? Since he clearly forgot all about those promises when he stuck his old chap into some cheap slag who wants a boob job and her acrylic nail fill-ins doing, it either takes great bravery or stupidity - I’m not sure which.

Or do you tell the cheating toerag to sling his hook, have a bloody good cry and stoically piece your life back together?

When I’m wearing my Benevolent Hat, I admire the women who go for the first option. I think if you can make it work after adultery threatens to topple your whole world over Pisa-style, then fair fucks. I salute you.

But when I’m wearing all of my other Hats (and there are many including Blind Rage, Ranting and Just A Bit Narky), I am definitely of the ‘Sling Your Hook You Waste-Of-Skin, Useless Twat Of A Husband’ school of thought.

So, I guess The German knows where he stands if there’s ever an indiscretion in our house…

But really, the bottom line for me on this stance is thus: once a cheat, always a cheat. You let that genie out of the bottle and you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of heartache from a man who doesn’t deserve you.

So good luck to Cheryl if the news is true. But I reckon she’ll be rinsing that rat through the divorce courts before she turns 30.