Do you ever wonder where the people you went to school with ended up?

Thanks to Facebook and its evil ilk, much of the mystery has been smash-and-grabbed into oblivion with hourly updates such as, “Lily has just given birth to twins and is not sure the surgeon ’stitched her up like a virgin’ as requested.”

However, there are some sensible souls (and I am ashamed I cannot count myself as one of their number) who never signed themselves up for social networking in the first place. And thus, they remain an untapped source of, ‘Oh my God, she was always so shy at school!’ influenced shock/awe/disgust.

So imagine my glee when I stumbled across the life path of one such former classmate.

Guess what she does? She’s only office bitch for a Page 3 girl agency in the heart of London’s Soho. Given that I know where she comes from, this career path certainly indicates a fall from grace.

Mummy must be sobbing into her cashmere pillow.